Vadivelu as Project Manager - 1

Vadivelu dons the role of Project manager in my blog…. Now read this out…. Inspired from his Giri comedy (enna nallavannu sollittan) :

Vadivelu (Project Manager of a Big IT firm) went for an on-site client meeting and gets butchered for failed to meet SLAs and delay in deliverables. Vadivelu is given 30m to discuss with delivery and support head to revert. So., Vadivelu is on a conference call with Delivery and Support Head….

Delivery head: What vadivelu, how much time were you able to buy?

Vadivelu: How can I dear? They blasted me really hard. I am still sweating out.

Support Head: What happened? Who were all in the meeting?

Vadivelu: First, account manager and his 3 team members were only there. They took the defect list and shouted at me for 45 minutes. Then, the customer service head came. He spoke to me in good tamil and enquired about whether I want to have coffee or tea. I told him, coffee. But believe me - nothing came. He also started shouting at me and shared some of the customer' nasty statements for 1 hour. They, every one got tired and went off from the room.

Delivery Head: Oh ! Good that you escaped from the branch representative !

Vadivelu: oh no…. wait wait wait… they all came back again in 10m and asked me to specify clearly what our on-site folks were capable off… are they freshers or techies or just parked for presence? Then, I tried to pacify them… But….

Support Head: (Curiously) What happened?

Vadivelu: Some one came in and reminded that booking for meeting room is over... I was so relieved hearing that and it is my lunch time too! (Sobbing a bit)…. But it evaporated in a 2 minutes when they took me to another meeting room near gents toilet ! & They started all over again without even offering me a sandwich

DH & SH: oh shit…

Vadivelu: In just 15 min, the branch representative also joined for blasting session. He pulled some 10 of his team members on con-call. They screwed me for 90m or so….. How long I will also act that as if it is not painful? (now almost crying)

Delivery Head: Its okay dear…. I will buy you a drink when you come back…. Just buy some 10 days or so for now and come back….

Support Head: Customers always buzzdoze the vendor., you don't lose heart and focus on buying timeline….

Vadivelu: @#$%&*

Funny Song on Home Loan EMIs

Serious Definition of EMI Payment:

You take a loan from bank; They will give a payment schedule; They adjust your payment against loan books; Most of your EMI payments goes into interest adjustment and little portion of your payments gets adjusted against principal outstanding;

So you keep paying for 3 years and realise that principal outstanding never comes down and wonder where your EMI payment goes !!!!!

Now I borrowed liberally from Anbe Anbe song from Dhaam Dhoom to express our despair on the loan statement which we receive every year :)

Tamil version:

Nee Nee vattiyai yethikitte poga
Naan naan udan katupattu nadakka
Indha loan-ai ennikavadhu adaithiduvene
sambalam muzhudum enadhey
Yedhai koduthom yedhai yedhuthom
Theriyavillai kanakku
Yengu tholainthom engu
Kidaithom puriyavillai namakku

English translation:

You keep raising interest rate
I keep obliging
some day i will repay my loan
and would enjoy my salary credit
what did i give, what did i take
i never got into my mind
what did i lose, what did i get
i never understood

Trust, you guys enjoyed my version :)

Satyam's wrong move

Satyam computers is part of Nifty and is one of India's top 5 IT companies !

What a mess they created on a peaceful Dec 16th evening ! They announced buyout of Maytas into Satyam at a price of 1.6billion.

Whats wrong in this?

Raju's are minority share holders of Satyam and Satyam is widely held by instituitions. They are also promoters of Maytas. This move seen as pumping cash into promoter's hands from Satyam ! Stock prices were hit mercilessly in US ADR and Satyam swiftly withdrew the move.

If Satyam has got hugh cash as reserves, why cant they declare high dividend or buy small IT companies? Why are they trying to pay themselves? Is Maytas starved of cash?

Who adviced on this great move and who decided in this mindless episode is something management should answer. It left a bad taste in corporate governance. Satyam has lost its credential and unlikely to recover for another two years !

Lovely Evening Snack Places of Chennai

• I thought I will list out some of the good restaurents of Chennai which serve sumptuous snack / tiffen items for the evening… Evening means between 4pm to 7pm to me J

Try it out…. I recently visited these places so I can say the list is good – I think these items are best prepared in the following places than others !!!

• New Woodlands, Cathedral Road – Mangalore Bonda, Uppuma
  
• Gangotri, Cathedral Road – North Indian snack items, sweets
  
• Sri Krishna Sweets, Pondy Bazaar – Masala Boli, Filter Coffee
  
• Hotel Saravana Bhavan, Peters Road – Mini Tiffen, Rava Kesari, Medu Vadai, Raw banana Chips and Filter Coffee with more sugar
  
• Sangeetha Hotel, Sterling Road – Vendhaya Dosai, Vada Kari, Filter Coffee
  
• Raja Bhavan, Sterling Road – Dosa, Idly
  
• Murugan Idly Kadai, GN Chetty Road – Dosa, Idly, Oothappam
  
• Mansukh, T. Nagar – North Indian snack items
  
• Hotel Saravana Bhavan, Mylapore – Adai Avial, Kaara Dosa, Rava Idly, Raw banana Chips & Filter Coffee
  
• Adyar Anandha Bhavan, Adyar – Adai Avial, Kaara Kozhakattai, Filter Coffee
  
• Palmgrove, Nungambakkam – Assorted Bajji, dosa varieties
  
• Shree Mithai, Chetpet & Spencers – North Indian snack items with Badam Milk
  
• MG Road, Nungambakkam – Near Citibank ATM – Paani Puri (road side)
  
• Sangeetha Hotel, R A Puram – Dosa items, puri, Filter Coffee
  
• 
  
  Carnival - Cake Shop, C P Ramasamy Road – Sandwiches
  
  &
  
  
• Beeda @ Calcutta paan shop – just before Ganpat hotel, Nungambakkam

Update Jan 2, 2010

• Noodles Samosa at hotel saravana bhavan (Mylapore, Venkatnarayan road)
• Hotel Sudha, Egmore - Old udipi hotel - all south indian breakfast items are very very good

MRF Tyredrome – Chennai completes 19 years

Do you know that MRF tyredrome completes 19 years today?

It is the only spot for Robotic car wash and is located in heart of Chennai (Cathedral Road – just before Music Academy). They charge around Rs.225/- for a car wash. You can relax in an A/C room while they clean up your car or you can catch your lunch at Amaravati located opposite J

Do you know that you can fill Nitrogen (N2) for your tubeless tyres over there?

FYI… N2 is filled for aircraft tyres, N2 comes for around 60 – 80 days whereas your normal air lasts for hardly 2-3 weeks ! N2 is also good for Car rims…. If you have not tried so far…. Do it now…. And make a little difference for your beloved car !

Each tyre would be charged at Rs.40/- and top-up of N2 would be charged Rs.10/= thereafter.

Do you also know that it is the best place to check your wheel balancing act in town?

 

 

Recession & Entertainment

Recession is looming large on us. So what will happen to entertainment? My take as follows:

 

1. No issues for Middle class food joints – Be it McD, Pizza corner in USA or our own Saravana Bhavan, Woodlands or gangotri. After all, these places would become hot meeting places to discuss the future plan of action.
   
2. Costly wine and dine restaurents – they are likely to face some 20 to 30% traffic slow down
   
3. Low cost beer pubs – they are likely to survive the slow down as they also become hot meeting places
   
4. Star based movies (like Ghajini, Rab Ne Banadi Jodi) and comedies would have strong possibility of survival than serious movies as people look out for strong entertainment than some "advice / sentiment" factors.
   
5. So., multiplexes would face very different atmosphere – star based movies would have a bumper opening whereas normal movies would have very slow pick up – in contrast;
   
6. Sports (around 3 hours duration) events are unlikely to face substantial slow down in audience participation – the effect would be marginal – around 15% or so;
   
7. SPAs and Resorts might have to cut prices to lure more walk-ins than ever before.
   
8. Sex might become a cheapest entertainment L

some english movie dialogues i liked

From Die Another Day
Scene: First meeting between Bond and Halle Berry on the beach !

Halle berry comes out of beach to the shore and bond spots her.
Bond: Magnificient view
Halle Berry: it is, isn't it?
Bond: too bad its lost like everybody else
You should try and offers a drink
Halle Berry: my friends call me jinx...
Bond: My friends call me James Bond, Jinx you say
Halle Berry: born on friday, the 13th?
Bond: You believe in bad luck?
Halle Berry: Lets just say Our relationship don't seem to last
Bond: hmmm... i know the feeling. (glancing the hunters) The predators usually appear at sun set
Halle Berry: and why is that?
Bond: thats when their prey comes out to drink. too strong for you? (referring the drink)
Halle Berry: (with a big smile) I can learn to like it, if i have time
Bond: Hw much time have you got?
Halle Berry: Until Dawn... what about u?
Bond: oh... I am just here for the birds., ornitologist..
Halle Berry: ornitologist..ah. wow
wow here is the mouthful. so you are going to be busy tonight with the owls?
Bond: no., nothing to see till the morning. Neithere are they anymore
Halle Berry: (with a wry smile) What do you predators do... when the sun goes down?
Bond: They feast like there is no tomorrow

No reward for guessing what could have been the next scene although !!!
*********************************************
From The Italian Job

John Bridger: I have sent it
Charlie Croker: you were supposed to do your shopping after we pull off the job
John Bridger: i feel so optimistic
Charlie Croker: so?
John Bridger: how do you feel
Charlie Croker: i am fine
John Bridger:fine?
you know what fine stands for, dont you?
Charlie Croker: yeah, unfortunately.
John Bridger: freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional
===============================
John Bridger: trust everyone, but dont trust the devil inside them !
==============================
John Bridger: you know charlie, there are two kinds of theives in the world the ones who steal to enrich their lives and the ones who steal to define their lives and dont be the latter !