Mars, Venus

If you’ve been in the company of the opposite sex for any period of time, you’ll know that nothing can be taken at face value. You won’t be sorry for referring this. Source - Pune Mirror.

Men
If you don’t want, you don’t have to: I am hoping showing you respect will make you change your mind.

You look good: This means different things depending on the stage of relationship you are in.

1) If you’ve just begun dating: You look hot. My friends are going to be so jealous.

2) Steady relationship: Thank god! I’m so glad you’re wearing an outfit that won’t attract creeps.

Let’s go someplace else: I just saw someone who knows me and I don’t want them to see me with you. The red flag should go up if he never wants to hang out where he lives.

Let’s meet up with my friends: This could go both ways — either this date is boring or I really like you and want to see what my friends think.

There’s a match tonight (in casual conversation): You can come if you promise to sit quietly, otherwise don’t even think of making plans for us tonight.

Let’s end it before one of us gets hurt: I am cheating/about to cheat on you.

You deserve someone better: Two-timing you is getting too stressful. Let’s end this now!

Let me drop you home: Let me score some points in the ‘chivalry’ department and move towards ‘having coffee’ at your place.

This party is boring. Let’s go someplace interesting: There are too many friends watching me here. Let’s go to a place where I can cosy up and hopefully, kiss you.

Have you done something to your hair?: You look a bit different, but I’m not sure why. I’m just taking a guess here to be safe.

Let’s hang out with your friends: I want to see if you know any hot girls.

I feel like having (insert_name_of_food_item_here): Get up and make me that.

I’m bored. Let’s do something: Plan a date without my input or, let’s have sex.

Are you sure you’re going to be okay?: Please, please let me off the hook.

I’ve never said this to anyone: I’m hoping this show of vulnerability gets me into your pants.

She’s the kind of girl boys like: She’s a tease and we know it, but we’re hoping one of us strikes lucky with her.

Hmm: Interpret it the way you want. I don’t think this requires me taking time off my cricket match/office phone call.

Women
Do what you want: We’ve been together long enough for you to know what I want. Why are you still asking me? [Sometimes, this is also an open challenge: “Go ahead, dare to do that and see what happens.”]

We need to talk: You need to sit and listen while I list all the things you’ve done wrong.

I really don’t want to talk right now: As soon as I hang up, you better call right back and prise it out of me.

I am putting up with your roving eye because of the children: I have no money and can’t go back to my parents.

Wow! Isn’t this great? Doesn’t it look good on me?: Buy it for me. You will be rewarded.

I’m hanging out with my mother this weekend: I don’t want to serve family time alone. I’m waiting for you to volunteer to do this with me.

I can do this myself: No I can’t. Help me!

Can we meet tonight after you’ve finished work?: I know you’re busy but I just want you to realise you’re choosing work over me.

I’ll have to see what I’m doing: I have no plans for the foreseeable future but don’t want to seem easy.

Do you like dogs/ rom-coms/ treks/ Thai food?: I like it and if you don’t, you better develop a liking if you want this to go on.

We should talk about it: Why can’t you just say what I know you are thinking and give me a chance to rationalise it and prove you wrong?

Why are you so quiet/ What are you thinking?: Out with the real story on where you went last night under the pretext of ‘watching IPL with friends’. Conversely, this may also mean ‘say something romantic.’

You remember my friend XYZ? She just got engaged/married /pregnant: It is time I do.

Isn’t she hot?: Say I look hotter.

Let me go, I’m late: Don’t stop doing whatever you’re doing. It feels good.

It’s too expensive! You shouldn’t have!: I’m glad you did! Do this often.

I’m bored. Let’s do something: Plan a multiple destination date without my input.

You don’t understand: Sit down and listen to me talk in minutiae about my feelings and sympathise periodically.

I want to connect emotionally: I don’t think we should be having sex yet.

What do you think?: I’m only making it seem that your opinion matters. It doesn’t.